The Adventures of BJ and Tony Morris

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Dublin, Ireland
February 2005
"Quest for a Gnome"

On a previous trip to Ireland, BJ and I found the perfect housewarming gift for our friend Melissa.  It was a cheap little garden gnome holding a sign with the gaelic words that mean a hundred thousand welcomes (Cead Mille Failte).   Cheap would be perfect because it would be less likely to be stolen from her new (old) Cabbagetown home.  This gnome was in the window of a discount store in Ennis, but it was Sunday and the store was closed.  We tried to get back to Ennis several times, but flights would never cooperate.  When we finally made it back a few weeks ago (see "Spending Time with Mom") the store was going out of business and there were no gnomes left.

With my new found freedom of being retired, I decided to make a special trip to Dublin to see if I could find the gnome there.  I arrived in Dublin on Friday morning and the first 4 places I inquired at (for a room for 2 nights) said, "No, we're full".  The 4th place added "There's a Rugby match Sunday so there are NO rooms anywhere for Saturday night".  They offered a room for Friday night, but at more than I was willing to pay.  The 5th place had a room for Friday only also, at a better price, so I jumped on it.  Turns out that the national rugby team of England (a short ferry ride from Dublin) was playing the national rugby team of Ireland, in Dublin, on Sunday.   THAT rugby game.  Oops.

So I dropped my bag there (at The Temple Bar Hotel in the Temple Bar area of town; check in would be after 2PM) and started my shopping.  About 2 1/2 hours later (after being unsuccessful on my quest for a gnome), I gave up and hit an almost empty pub, the Oliver St. John Gogarty (about 11:30AM).  Twenty minutes later, the place was shoulder to shoulder...  about half the crowd was Brit.  A BEAUTIFUL (not as beautiful as BJ, but still BEAUTIFUL) Danish model who wanted to chat sat down next to me to have lunch.  Long straight blonde hair (Danish, after all) down to the tattoo over her behind that was visible (the tattoo, not her behind) by the two inches of skin between the bottom of her bustily filled tee shirt and her tight blue jeans...  Did I mention that she was BEAUTIFUL (not as beautiful as BJ, but still BEAUTIFUL)?  Bangs, a flawless complexion, straight white teeth, a British accent (having moved to England when she was 6 years old)... modeled for GQ in Los Angeles for the last four years.  Did I mention that she was BEAUTIFUL (not as beautiful as BJ, but still BEAUTIFUL)?  Did I also mention that she had REALLY DIRTY FINGERNAILS???!!!  Ick!  What a turnoff.  Anyway... I digress.

I got back to the hotel to check in and they mentioned they'd had a cancellation (shades of Prague) but by then I'd decided that if the flights were okay, I'd just bail on Saturday.  I checked with BJ (Did I mention that she is BEAUTIFUL?) on the flight, did another hour and a half of shopping, several more hours of pubbing, then hit the bed early.

Warm nuts on the flight home.  And my flight attendants were the same in both directions...   including our old neighbor Lorene.

Still no gnome.  Guess the quest will continue!  Stay tuned! 

BJ and Tony Morris